I feel Him pulling me back. If you've ever been truly saved by God's amazing grace, He won't turn His back on you. Even when you have drifted away,
He is still there...waiting. I'm not where I need to be with God. I haven't been going to church, reading my Bible, or even praying very much. He has allowed me to drift away for a time. And things have not been really good in my life in a long time. But now, I am beginning to feel that gentle pull that says, "I'm still here. Just come back to me." 1 Peter 5:7 says, "Casting all your care upon Him for He cares for you." Praise God! But I haven't been doing that. I have tried to handle things on my own, and I'm NOT doing a very good job of it! But, I am starting to feel His presence. I feel it down in my soul. It's a longing, a longing to run back to Him and have Him wrap His loving arms around me and tell me that everything is going to be alright. He's that touch I feel when I'm listening to a certain song; He's that friend from church that tells me they've been missing me in church and is concerned if everything is okay. I have a wonderful church family. And they are just that, family. They are concerned without being pushy. We went back Wednesday night, and the first thing when we walked through the door our associate pastor said, "Praise God!" And he shook our hands and hugged our necks. I know he had been praying for us. We walked into the sanctuary and it was just like coming home after a long journey. Everyone had smiles on their faces, and they were so happy to see us. I pray that you all have a church family as wonderful as mine is.
If you are a Christian, please continue to pray for my family, that we will get back to where God wants us to be. Particularly, please pray for my husband who desperately needs a touch from the Lord. Pray that we will lead a life that is pleasing to God. A song came to my mind this morning that talks about how God is always there, even if we have drifted away. The lyric that stands out for me is this, "'I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me." This sums up my feelings this morning.
CASTING CROWNS: EAST TO WEST
4 comments:
I will pray for you and for your husband and family. I know that as you seek the Lord, returning to Him in repentance and faith, you will find Him gracious and good! I will pray particularly for your husband as you deal with his illness; may you see the Lord's faithfulness in his life!
Praying as I click "post"...
I googled "I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me" just now because that's how I've been feeling lately, and wondered if anyone else has felt this way and then come back from it. I feel like part of me cares and part of me doesn't and wants to go off and do what I want to. I think that part that cares is God holding on to me, and I hope He doesn't let go. Wondering how you are doing, too, after reading your post. Are you back in God's arms again? I hope so, and I hope He'll pull me back in soon!
Jeannie, isn't God so awesome that he can take a feeling that I had back in 2009 to minister to someone in 2012? I think you are exactly right that the part of you that cares is God holding on to you. He loves us...no matter what we have done. We are his children. I can't say that I am totally where I need to be with God, but I am trying. I haven't been in church in awhile, but I have begun to read the Bible every morning and take some time with Him. I feel his presence often, and I do feel that "pull" that I referred to in my post. I have been going through a particularly rough time lately. My husband's mental illness (bi-polar) has reared its ugly head. He lost his dad a year ago, and he has had a hard time with it. Both of his parents are gone now. When he is in his deep depression, it is so hard on me. There is nothing I can do or say to make things better. I have to rely on God to get us both through it. Please just spend time in God's Word and keep seeking his face. Remember that "This too, shall pass." I will pray for you. Please come back and post when things get better for you, because I know they will.
Thank you so much Sandra. I'm so grateful for your kind answer and your prayers. I will be praying for you and your husband too, and I'll try to come back and post again soon. :)
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