Friday, April 9, 2010

Things His Kids Will Never Know #1 - Rainbows

My oldest son, Justin, (yes, Millie's daddy) has been on a mission to make sure that things that he remembers does not become obsolete.  He occasionally writes "notes" in his Facebook profile titled, "Things My Kid Will Never Know."  Well, I have decided to post some of those notes on here so that you can see the humor and creativity of Justin.  Please forgive any curse words.  I will edit any that may be too offensive, but most of the posts are just funny.  Some were written before his marriage and the baby, such as the one that follows. So, here we go.  The first one is titled...

Things My Kids Will Never Know #1 - Rainbows
by Justin Rowell
Tuesday, July 22, 2008 at 10:26pm

Alright, so...

In my childhood, rainbows totally kicked a#% cause they were easy to draw/color and they looked neat-o when you did it. It was always an awesome thing when you're riding in the car with your parents and they were like "Hey look, a rainbow!" and you'd look out the window and be all like "WOW! How's that work! It's awesome!" And then [depending on your religious faith] your parents would tell you that the rainbow was God's promise to never flood the Earth again...or something like that.

Nowadays it's different. Somewhere, some dumb-a, either gay or straight figured "Hey, rainbows would be cool to symbolize gay people!" If I EVER run across the a-hole who came up with that idea, I'll probably kick his free-thinking a#%.

I mean get this, a thing we thought was awesome in childhood now symbolizes something that we don't really want our kids to be exposed to. And it's not that I'm against gay people, it's just that my kid will never know what a rainbow used to stand for. :( But as a one-day-in-the-future parent, I'm going to chronicle these things and teach my child the truth.

And thus begins my "Things My Kid Will Never Know" expose. There's quite a few things my kid won't know, but I'll only be discussing the ones that are super significant; such as how the Doritos logo changed, and how apparently dinosaurs had feathers. It's gonna be a tough road to follow, but somebody's gotta do it...might as well be me.

1 comment:

Monica said...

I really love this idea. AND you are so right! This is something I have never thought about before. Sad.