Saturday, July 10, 2010

Seeing My Mother's Good Side

I went with my mom to the nursing home today.  She went to visit her sister, my aunt.  Mom has been very worried about her sisters, lately.  She has another sister who has been battling cancer for quite awhile, now.  My mom doesn't do well with worry.  When she's worried about something, she takes it out on those around her, and I am not immune to her snide remarks, at these times.  I have learned to take it as it is and to realize what it's all really about.  I've tried to tell her that there's only so much she can do about a situation and not to worry so much.  But, she does.  Her brothers & sisters are getting older, and she is having a hard time dealing with it.  She has always been close to them.  She has told me that she wished I would go with her sometime to visit them, so when she came by today, I didn't make excuses (like I usually do); I decided to go with her.  After all, my mom won't be around forever.  I know that.  And, this would mean more to her than any other thing I could ever do for her. 

When we walked into my aunt's room, mom asked her if she knew who I was.  She mumbled something about me being someone's wife.  Mom told her that it was Sandra.  She just looked at me, not recognizing.  I went over and sat in a chair while my mom proceeded to ask my aunt questions, to which she did not get the responses that she should have.  My aunt kept talking about getting ready to go to church.  I soon realized that, in her mind, she was back at home, probably on a Sunday morning, and trying to get her family ready for church.  She kept talking about her shoes, and she asked my mom which dress she liked best.  It was the saddest thing.  It helped me to know that I never want to be in that situation.  I never want to exist if I don't know what is going on around me.  I know that I don't really have much control over it, but that's how I feel, at least. 

It was very touching watching my mother caring for her sister, a worried look in her eyes.  My mom has not always been the most loving mother in the world.  As a matter of fact, she has been known to be gripey, most of the time.  We have just tolerated it because she's always been this way.  We know that she loves us.  She just gets frustrated with things that she can't change, and, as I said before, she takes it out on the ones she loves.  But today, I watched her rub lotion on my aunt's dry arms, with loving touches.  I saw a side of my mother that is rarely seen.  And, I am glad to have witnessed it.  I hope that my mom never gets to the point to where her sister is.  It's something that I really don't want to deal with, seeing my mom helpless, not knowing who I am.  I know lots of people have had to deal with it, whether they wanted to or not.  I just hope things work out better for my mother and me. 

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