Wednesday, January 28, 2009

A Blah Mood and the Crud

What a blah mood I've been in today! I don't know WHAT is wrong with me. I have been so sleepy since this afternoon, and the day seems to be dragging on. It's 8:40 p.m. and I could go to sleep right now and sleep the rest of the night! We have had a lot of stuff going on lately, so that may be part of my problem. I have been useless as far as housework goes. Heaven forbid that someone should visit! Well, at least I got around to finally writing a blog post. I think I'll just update you on all the goings on around here. Last Friday, me, Kevin, Chase, and his friend, Taylor left Alabama for Piqua, Ohio. It was a long drive, but not really as bad as I thought it would be. There were lots of sites to see along the interstate. The reason that we went to such an out-of-the-way place was to watch our show choir perform in their first competition of the season. What an experience it was! It really gave me a new appreciation for what those kids put themselves through to compete. We made the finals, and one of our guys got best male solo performance out of all the groups there! When it came to the finals, we placed as 4th runner up, which wasn't that great. But, I think our group was right up there with the front runners. We came back on Sunday. We took a detour through downtown Cincinnati. It was a great day to go because there was hardly any traffic. The architecture of the old buildings was amazing. We saw the Bengals' stadium and the Cincinnati Reds' stadium. It was a really neat trip. We were give out when we got home. I went to bed very early, and slept for the rest of the night. It was back to work the next day. I am looking forward to more competitions in places I've never been. I'm not sure the next one we are going to. The group is going to perform in South Jones, Mississippi this weekend, but we are going to take a pass on that one. Jordan is having a blast traveling and playing his bass guitar. So, back to my blah mood...I guess it doesn't help that I have had the Sand Mountain crud. For those of you who don't know what that is, it is when your throat is sore, your body aches, and your nose is stuffy, and you are congested. We just refer to it in these parts as the crud. I guess my body is taking a little while to get over it. Hopefully, it will go away and stay gone for the rest of this winter. So, goodnight, all! Here's hoping to a livelier tomorrow!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Days of Future Past



It was a busy, exciting weekend as our high school show choir, Centerstage, performed for Sweets & Songs. It's one of their fundraisers where people buy tickets to watch the performances and are treated to an array of desserts. I must say, we have a very talented group of kids in our school system! I have not been involved with the show choir much in the past. But this year, Jordan was asked to play bass guitar in the band. Yes, that's right! We have a live band for our show choir. And let me tell you this. They rocked the house this weekend! Not only did Centerstage perform, several other choirs throughout the school system performed. Our music program has grown so much that they had to add a second show choir to the high school level this year. They are appropriately called Censations. We also have a middle school show choir, Vocal Point. It is just amazing to see this level of talent in this area. These choirs travel around the country competing with other show choirs. Last year someone asked our director if Albertville was a performing arts school! The level of talent is that good! The
theme for Centerstage this year is "Days of Future Past." The most memorable part is when they transition into a solo, "On the Deck of a Spanish Sailing Ship", with the others joining in for the chorus. Their first competition is next weekend in Piqua, Ohio. I wish them the best of luck, but who needs luck with all that talent?

Saturday, January 10, 2009

I'm Not Holding on to You, But You're Holding on to Me

I feel Him pulling me back. If you've ever been truly saved by God's amazing grace, He won't turn His back on you. Even when you have drifted away, He is still there...waiting. I'm not where I need to be with God. I haven't been going to church, reading my Bible, or even praying very much. He has allowed me to drift away for a time. And things have not been really good in my life in a long time. But now, I am beginning to feel that gentle pull that says, "I'm still here. Just come back to me." 1 Peter 5:7 says, "Casting all your care upon Him for He cares for you." Praise God! But I haven't been doing that. I have tried to handle things on my own, and I'm NOT doing a very good job of it! But, I am starting to feel His presence. I feel it down in my soul. It's a longing, a longing to run back to Him and have Him wrap His loving arms around me and tell me that everything is going to be alright. He's that touch I feel when I'm listening to a certain song; He's that friend from church that tells me they've been missing me in church and is concerned if everything is okay. I have a wonderful church family. And they are just that, family. They are concerned without being pushy. We went back Wednesday night, and the first thing when we walked through the door our associate pastor said, "Praise God!" And he shook our hands and hugged our necks. I know he had been praying for us. We walked into the sanctuary and it was just like coming home after a long journey. Everyone had smiles on their faces, and they were so happy to see us. I pray that you all have a church family as wonderful as mine is.
If you are a Christian, please continue to pray for my family, that we will get back to where God wants us to be. Particularly, please pray for my husband who desperately needs a touch from the Lord. Pray that we will lead a life that is pleasing to God. A song came to my mind this morning that talks about how God is always there, even if we have drifted away. The lyric that stands out for me is this, "'I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me." This sums up my feelings this morning.
CASTING CROWNS: EAST TO WEST

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

OH! THE MADNESS!!!


I have to admit it. My life has not been too groovy lately, especially the last couple of days. As I mentioned before, my husband, Kevin, suffers from mental illness, a genetic trait he inherited from his mom's side of the family. Kevin's grandmother was schizophrenic. She spend several years at Bryce Hospital in Tuscaloosa. Most of those years were before he and I even met. But, I do remember us going down there to pick her up once for Thanksgiving. She was finally able to come home. She was a precious lady. Kevin's mother was diagnosed, later in life, as manic depressant/bipolar. I remember the onset of it. Kevin and I went to her house to visit, and she was talking off the top of her head...just saying weird things. We knew that something was up. Thankfully, the doctors were able to get her on lithium and some other meds that controlled it. Actually, the list of family members goes on. There are other members in Kevin's family that have suffered from some form of mental illness. One has recently had shock therapy. It's not just a thing they used to do! There is some short-term memory loss immediately after the treatment, but eventually, it all comes back. It seems to help the illness in some twisted sort of way. Kevin was diagnosed with major depressive disorder several years back. I think he needs a new diagnosis. I'm afraid that it has progressed to a more serious one. It is hard living with someone who has a mental illness. I have had to remind myself several times that his mind doesn't work the way mine does, or the way I think it should. I have learned a lot about what mental illness does to people, just by living with him. He has his good days, but his bad days outnumber them by far. He is on medication, but I am thinking that his body has built up a tolerance to it. He had a breakdown yesterday. I took him to his medical doctor. She is very understanding. She adjusted his meds and has him scheduled to speak to a psychiatrist. I think this will help him a lot. I mentioned in an earlier post that Kevin's mother passed away in May, and he has taken it very hard. He is the baby of the family and was very close to his mother. She understood him. She understood what he was going through when he would have his bouts with the depression. I try to understand him, but I don't have the insight that she had, having dealt with it herself. So, I think that speaking to a therapist may help him better than anything.

Sorry to bring you down. I hope to be able to turn this blog back around and start telling you about my "groovy" life. It will get better. Just bear with me. This is just something that we are going through right now, and I find solace in writing about it. In the meantime, let me know if you or someone you know suffers from mental illness and how you have dealt with it. I appreciate all your comments.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Commitments, not Resolutions

Blogger's block. That what I have had. I realize that I could have written about 2008, the highlights and the lows. I could have written about New Year's resolutions and goals. But, it seems everyone was doing that, and I just wasn't feeling it. I didn't make any resolutions this year. I guess it's because I made a few last year, and like most, I never followed through. So, I guess you can say that I resolved to not make any resolutions this year. I have come to realize that if I am going to do something, I just need to do it, and not decide to just because it's the new year. I suppose it does symbolize a new start. A time to get it right...finally. But, how often do people follow through? Sure, I need to lose weight. I need to get organized. I need to spend more time with God. But, I need to do it because I am committed to it. Not because it's what everyone is doing. I just feel like it will all stick better if I make a commitment, not a resolution. So, here are my commitments for 2009:

1. Get Healthy/Lose Weight
2. Get Organized/Home & Work
3. Spend Time with God Each Day

Those commitments should be simple enough. There are just 3 of them. But they are going to require a lot of work on my part. I am just going to start slow, and try to establish some habits. I'm not going to beat myself up if I fail one day or one week. I am going to use the Flylady philosophy and just jump right back in. I will post my progress on each commitment, occasionally.