Saturday, May 23, 2009

Parenting Tip: Check Those Texts!!!

I have a warning for other moms of boys, and maybe a warning for moms of girls, as well. Watch out for these teenage girls nowadays. Boys have always gotten a bad rep for doing things they shouldn't do, but let me tell you, the girls are right in there with them these days.

"What has brought all this on?," you may ask? As most of you know, I have 3 sons. Two of them are teenagers, and the oldest one just recently found out that he is going to be a father. Well, my #2 son, who is 17, has been getting naughty texts from a girl that is a year younger than he is. "How do you know this?," you ask. Well, I occasionally take it upon myself to read his texts. This is not an invasion of privacy, it is called strategic parenting. Well, it just so happened that yesterday morning while he was asleep, I perused his texts and found the shocking things that this girl was saying that she wanted to do with him. I also looked at what my son had text her back, and his replies were your typical boys' one word responses. (Yeah, wow, okay) So then I had to decide how I wanted to handle this. Did I want to overlook it, and just keep an eye on them. Or did I want to forbid him to see her, knowing that that would never work. He was already aware that I didn't care for her, simply because of some the things I have heard about her. So, this is what I did. I used his phone and forwarded some of those texts to my phone, as leverage in case I ever needed them. Then, I used his phone and sent her this message,

ME: "This is Chase's mom. I wonder what your parents would say about the things you've been texting to boys."

A few minutes later, she text me back. She said something like,

"I'm SO sorry! Believe me when I say that I don't usually talk like that. I was just tired last night. I really don't know what to say. But, I'm sorry and it won't happen again."

ME: "You should watch what you send in texts because you never know who might read them.
Chase doesn't need someone who is going to get him into trouble. He needs a good girl. I'm gonna let it slide this time, but just don't let it happen again."

HER: "Thank you!"

ME: "Forgiven"

Then, I deleted my texts to her and her responses back. I put the phone back beside him. And I went to work. I never said anything to Chase. I handled it quietly between me & her, and then the ball was left in her court. If she said anything to Chase, do you think he would tell me?!! I doubt it, given the nature of her texts to him the night before. Hopefully, I nipped that in the bud.

So ladies, watch out for teenage girls these days. Your sons don't need one of those 1-800 numbers when they've got girls that they know who will talk to them that way for free. And to you moms out there who have teenage girls, do you know what your daughters are doing? You better check those texts!!


Sue said...

It is stuff like that that makes me kinda happy that I wasn't able to have kids after all. That may sound harsh but having watched my sister try & guide her kids to wise choices and so far not succeed (and my nieces who grew up in a Christian home act like that girl in your son's text), I am TOTALLY okay with the lot God gave me in life ;-)

Pray protection over those boys ~ but I'm sure you already are!! I think you did a very bold and courageous thing. Good for you!


Sandra said...

Parenting can be hard work sometimes. It's funny what you said about them growing up in a Christian home. I've asked a few people if they know this girl and they say, "Yeah. She's a good girl. She goes to such & such church." I only hope that she doesn't act out the way she was speaking in those texts.

bettyl said...

Good on ya, Sandra! You did well, in my opinion! I agree with all you did and would probably do the same, if the situation arose. Kids need guidance, not left to 'make their own choices' (that phrase burns my butt). If they didn't need parents to help them learn to be adults, we could send them out to work and not have to worry.

Rachel said...

Text messaging. Ugh. Nothing peeves me more than seeing a family out at a restaurant and the tween or teen sits at the table the whole time staring at their phone. I'm glad I don't yet have teenagers, but if I did, I don't think I'd be paying for text service.

I think you handled this situation well. Not sure if I would have been able to resist the urge to forward the texts to the girl's parents! Hopefully, she learned her lesson!

Sandra said...

This is the kind of stuff that, as a parent, you wonder how to handle it, or if you have handled it the right way. I'm glad y'all are in agreement with the way I handled it.

I may have been inclined to forward the texts to her parents, but I don't know them or their cell numbers. But, as I said, I have the leverage now, and if the need arises again, I'll definitely get their number!